Understanding and advocating

for your true value is hard to do, especially in the face of someone who is pushing back. Take, for example, the following scenarios

✦ asking for a raise,

✦ negotiating your salary,

✦ interviewing for a job,

✦ saying no to work that doesn't challenge you.

In order to do these things successfully, you have to believe in yourself and your abilities. But chances are, you have some self-doubt. That self-doubt creeps in and can ruin your chances to get what you want (and deserve.)

You may even believe in yourself on some level, but have a hard time fully embracing that self-belief when it comes right down to it.

What many of my clients tell me is that they forget how good they are at what they do. Life gets in the way, and they don't always remember that they have worth.

What's more, in this economy, people get the message that they are replaceable.

That only adds to the fear and leads people to just say yes to whatever is being offered, no matter how much more they deserve.

➤ In other words, your power gets stripped away, because you worry if you ask for too much, you're going to get passed over for the next person in line.

But here are 9 ways to keep your power and advocate for yourself at the same time.

1 Weekly Check-Ins: You're supposed to have them with your boss, but how often are they happening? If they're not happening regularly, it's time to do something about it, because these check-ins aren't just a place to get support, they are also a place to get visibility.

Without visibility into what you're doing, how you're handling work, your struggles, your wins, your decision making, and your goals, no one is going to have any insight into you and what kind of a worker or leader you are. You become a black box of mystery. And not in a good way.

In order to be able to demonstrate value, you need to have clear communication about what's happening, what you're working on and what you're learning. If weekly check-ins aren't happening, it's time for that to change ASAP.

The more you can show the work you do, the more you'll be able to advocate for yourself (and have your boss advocate for you) when it's time for that raise.

2. Embrace Numbers: When it comes to advocating for yourself, do yourself a favor and keep track of your metrics. Your company speaks in dollars and cents, and many metrics can translate into that language. Even if your metric isn't reduced to those terms, most people are pretty adept at seeing the dollar signs behind things (if you can ferret out exact dollar amounts, even better, though.) Still, things like 19% increase in views, or 33% improvement in approval rating allude to more money for your company. So don't just settle for talking about a "successful campaign leading to increased views." Tell them how successful it was. That can give them a better sense of how much money you're making them.

3. Build Rapport: Rapport is an underutilized secret tool, so powerful that it should be wielded with care, and then only in the hands of those seeking to do good.

The idea of rapport is simple: it's all about understanding the other person's feelings and being able to communicate well with them.

But when you can do that. . . you have the power to move the world. Why? Because building true rapport – a real connection, not some psychopathic ploy to manipulate people – then people like you.

And when people like you, they go to bat for you. You're the person that brings in doughnuts, and asks about their kids, and asks what they can do to help. You're the person who offers some insight or a self-effacing comment. You're the guy or girl who gives and inspires true leadership (even from behind.)

And when you're that person, and you share who you are at work, everyone around you will want to see you succeed.